Science Officer's Personal Log | Michaelmas week 4 (29/10/23 - 04/11/23 -Bonfire Night)

The fourth week of Michaelmas started on my birthday, and ended with Bonfire night. 

I already wrote about my birthday. There isn't much to add, apart perhaps from a few more photos of the Divinity School or the exhibition at the Weston Library. One thing I didn't say before was that at the Weston, in the big atrium that is between the cafe and the exhibition spaces, there was a small exhibit about English country dances, complete with a pocket fiddle, a series of books with sheet music and dance instructions, and even a few QR codes through which one could listen to the dances. It was pretty cool.. Especially for a girl who may or may not have tried the steps from that Purcell dance from Pride and Prejudice alone in her room, a few times 😊

Exhibition about English country dances...

 

Thoughts | I feel so like myself right now...

 

My birthday was a pretty good day... 

Thoughts | Last night I dreamt that somebody loved me...

The past couple of weeks have been challenging. On one hand, I experienced the worst day I ever had since I moved to Oxford, more than a year ago. It wasn't an isolated event either: in the past few weeks, I experienced some truly horrendous days in which it seemed like all the curses cast by my father had finally found their way to me. On the other hand, I also experienced some of the most beautiful and inspiring things that happened since the new year. I went from being the least alone, most blessed creature in the planet, to the loneliest thing that could ever dream of existing, all in the span of a few hours, again and again, over days, in a way that only Vulcans could possibly understand.

I won't describe everything that happened. This is not an usual log, by any means. I'll probably skip weeks 2 and 3 anyway, I am not out of that cycle yet. But I would like to write about what happened today, because if I don't write I'll forget. And I really shouldn't forget this.

Things and Thoughts | The roses don't speak

Sometimes I wonder where this idea that women are more emotional and sentimental than men comes from. I wonder that, especially in light of how much feeling so many men have committed to the artistic legacy of mankind. Paint on a piece of canvas, shapes revealed from blocks of stone, dance moves captured on camera and words, above all words, meaningful verbal exchanges between people made of paper and ink. I feel a deeper kinship to these men than to any of the women I have met in my life. 

One such men is Cartola, composer from Rio, baluarte da mangueira. And this morning, as I made my way to the library, l thought of his song, "As Rosas Não Falam" (The Roses Don't Speak). Not because of the longing he feels for the girl in the song... I myself have never felt this particular brand of romantic pangs. But I understand the loneliness that drives one to share their secrets with roses. And my heart, like his, beats full of hope because the summer has finally ended. 

Isn't it a lovely day to be caught in the rain? I wanted a picture of roses, but couldn't find any on my path... I settled for listening to Cartola, and watching the wonderful "Is there in truth no beauty". It's not a bad way to spend a day...

 

Book | The Hunger by Whitley Strieber

The Hunger | Whitley Strieber |
Simon & Schuster Pocket books |
Oxford Union Society Library |
357 pages

"Everyone knew the sins of Miriam Blaylock. Her crime, and it was an unforgivable one, was to enjoy human beings as friends and lovers, rather than to simply exploit them. She could kiss them and find it sweet, have sex with them and afterward sleep like a contented tiger.

When I first watched The Hunger (1983), the movie seemed like it had been made exclusively for me. The vampires, the cello, the passion of it all... It was heartstopping. Which is why when I saw the book from which it was adapted at the "new acquisitions" shelf at the Oxford Union Library a few months ago, the temptation was too great to resist. 

The book does not disappoint. 

The story, is essentially the same as that of the movie, which I have written about, already, when I first watched it, a few years ago. Miriam Blaylock is a vampire. Not a human who was turned into a vampire at some point in the past, like in so many other stories, but an entirely different species, gifted with everlasting life. She is capable of sharing her gift with humans, transforming her companions into beings with unnaturally long life. But not forever. Invariably, they wither and die.

At the beginning of the story, Miriam's husband, John, is dying. He doesn't quite understand what is happening to him, or why the Hunger that plagued him since Miriam's first bestowed her gift upon him is burning stronger. As he decays, Miriam watches, lamenting the inevitable end of someone she loved so dearly. She is looking for a new companion, and a woman, Sarah Roberts, draws her attention. Sarah is a brilliant physician-scientist, one whose research is very close to explaining Miriam's very existence, even though Sarah hasn't really met her yet. But she will. Miriam will make sure of it. 

One thing that surprised me about the book, in comparison with the movie was how much time they spend trying to explain Sarah's research, with some techno-babble about her work with Rhesus monkeys and specific cell lines. It's the kind of thing I don't generally care for in science fiction. What I did care about were the characters, and specifically, how well the author described the intimacy that took place between them. 

Science Officer's Personal Log | Michaelmas 23 - week 1 (08/10-14/10)

 As I write these lines, in the middle of a cold Sunday, hours away from choir rehearsal, my new room is in a state of complete disarray. It is always so when I am pressed to choose clothes for what is meant to be a formal (or at least formal-ish) occasion. But even amidst this chaos I must say, I am well, and it's finally starting to feel like the long, horrid summer is behind me.

For one thing, it's cold again. It happened between Wednesday and Thursday. Somewhere between twilight and dawn, summer turned into winter over the span of a few dark hours. When I woke up, the sultry weather had been replaced by a wonderful grey sky. The pavement was wet, the streets were quiet, it was 13°C outside and I smiled, remembering for the first time in a long time how much I enjoy living in the North. 

 

My street, early in the morning, before heading to the library

Science Officer's Personal Log | As it was in the beginning...

The last Saturday of the long vacation ended in a lovely night. 

Magdalen tower on a different night...

Science Officer's Personal Log | Trinity Term, week 3

Sunday, May 7

I have been having some trouble getting back to working on my novel since the new year. Overcoming this is one of my goals for this term.  This Sunday, I decided to make it a number one priority and start the day with some writing. Instead of heading to a library, I went to Gulp Fiction, a bookshop/cafe at the covered market. They had barely opened when I got there, so the place was nice and quiet, and there's something nice about having a cup of hot chocolate in a room full of bookshelves. It became awfully noisy within less than an hour - a group of girls in a nearby table was particularly loud - but I managed to make some progress nevertheless. I worked on outlining rather than writing, but it was good work.

Gulp Fiction. Early morning.

Star Trek | My top 4 episodes in Strange New Worlds Season 1

Strange New Worlds (SNW) is a fantastic TV show. I enjoy most of the new Trek shows a great deal, but SNW is the one that feels like Star Trek the most. For starters, the series is episodic, and what continuity we get comes mostly in the evolution of character arcs. The bridge of the Enterprise is well lit - as it should be - and there's not technology that shouldn't be there, in accordance with what we know from that time in the 23rd century. The stories are character driven, and every now and again one of them verges on the absurd (The Elysian Kingdom, right?).  I love all that. I am not saying that I wish all TV shows were made exactly like TOS was in the 60s. Nor am I saying I don't want Star Trek to venture into new territory (which includes new forms of storytelling). No. I get it. I even enjoy the exploration (like any Starfleet graduate would). But I also like the way trek used to be. And I'm glad we get to have at least one current trek show that chooses to tell stories in that way. So without further ado, here are my top 4 episodes in the first season of Strange New Worlds: 

Science Officer's Personal Log | Trinity Term, week 2

Week 2 of Trinity had a rough start, rolling from the aftermath of the events of last Saturday. The Clarendon ball took place on Sunday, but I wasn't there, because I didn't feel like going alone and the person I wanted to go with declined my invitation. That sucked, but I am glad I was brave enough to ask. This is not a skill girls get taught during our formative years, so it wasn't easy, but I want to be brave. After all, it's okay. I just wasn't ready to go through the whole ordeal of finding a dress, and all the rest, to be there by myself, but it was difficult not to imagine what things would be like if I had had a date to the ball. Oxford balls are such a big thing around this time of year that it is difficult not to feel like I'm missing out. But this is my first year here. There will be other balls. Other opportunities. Perhaps even a date someday...  

On Sunday, we had something called access evensong at chapel, when the choir sang with students from a public school in London. It was okay, nothing too special. Formal dinner finished early, so I took the chance to rush to Balliol, to participate in my first meeting of the science fiction and fantasy society this term. The theme of the discussion was gender and sexuality in sci fi fantasy. It was a good couple of hours talking book and movies with like-minded people. I have some issues with the sci fi fantasy society, which is why I stopped attending during Hillary, but it was time to give it another chance. 

On Thursday we had our regular rehearsal. Sopranos ans altos at chapel, tenors and bases at the music room. The first half was a bit of a mess actually, but I am finally getting back in the rhythm of choir practice for this term...

Monday was May Day, which I had plans to attend, but the plans fell through over the weekend, and I ended up deciding not to sing Madrigals at college either, fearing that the cafe would be filled with drunk people on their way back from various balls. I did wake up early, probably on account of church bells ringing all around me - one of the perils of living at Oxford's city centre - and I spent sometime playing Terraforming Mars in the computer and wishing Spock was here... I think Spock would be able to understand my predicament and offer me some advice. I know I would be able to tell him things that I can't really tell anyone else right now, and perhaps he would know what to say. Perhaps he would be able to tell me that I won't be sad forever. I'd really like that. 

Regardless, I have started taking steps towards turning things around. On Monday, for instance, we had Unappreciated Data's episodes at Trek Soc. After most of the people left, there were three of us there, watching a third episode, playing giant Jenga and building wooden towers with the pieces (not unlike the model built by timothy and Data in the episode Hero Worship of TNG). Prior to going to Trek Soc I actually went to the movies watch a documentary about a Vermeer exhibition taking place at the Rijksmuseum in Amsterdam right now. It was okay but a bit pricey. I would have preferred if the documentary was available on streaming but I needed an excuse to get out of my room for a bit.

After Trek soc at John's MCR we played giant Jenga and then proceeded to build towers with the Jenga pieces, just like the temple Timothy builds with Data in TNG's Hero's Worship. At some point someone from the college staff came in and foud three of us sitting on the floor, playing with wooden blocks, like children. It was sort of funny :)

 

The rest of the week went on without much happening. I worked, and made some progress in my project. On Tuesday I went to Trek soc's board game night, where we played mega fluxx - essentially Star Trek fluxx with every available deck, which was a ton of fun. Then on Wednesday, Sophia and I started binge watching Rebels in the cinema room at the basement (the cinema room, by the way,  is something I will definitely miss when I move out of this place in the fall). Finally on Friday, after a long day of coding, I went to Bear Lane to watch the Lighthouse with the Horror Society. If I'm being completely honest, I went, less because of the movie and more because I need to make some new friends, but in that regard at least, the night was a total bust. The movie at least was okay, but I wasn't really in the vibe for something so artsy, and as far as Eggers' movies go, I far prefer the Witch. Still, I had to try something. Did my best, didn't work this time, we'll see what I come up with next. 

On Tuesday, before board game night I watched a talk about Tube Alloys, the British Atomic Bomb project and the involvement of Jesus college in it. It was really interesting, not to mention inspiring to see a scientist talk about a secondary interest - in this case, History. The next day, before our Rebels marathon I watched an online talk by George Church, from Harvard. I'm getting a lot better at finding interesting talks at Oxford, which was always part of my goals for this term.

Science Officer's Personal Log | Trinity Term Week 1

Trinity term officially started in Sunday (April 23), but it's worth starting this log the previous Saturday, just because it was such a good day. The last Saturday of the Easter break started with brunch at Sofi de France, at the Covered market, barely half a block away from where I live. The food was good, the company was wonderful, and at the time it seemed like the perfect way to end the break and set the tone for the last term of my first year. Later that day I went to St. Hilda's College to watch Steven Isserlis play the cello at the Jacqueline du Pré Music Building. I had visited the building before, during a tour of the college, but I hadn't watched any performances there yet. It was lovely. 

The JdP room looked a little bit like a refurbished barn but it had a nice intimate feel to it.There is something special about watching a cello performance in a building named after the most famous British cellist in recent memory.

 The programme focused on Romantic pieces:

Mendelssohn Variations Concertantes for Cello and Piano, Op. 17
Schumann (arr. Isserlis): Violin Sonata No. 2, Op. 121
Moscheles Cello Sonata in E Major, Op. 121
Chopin  Introduction and Polonaise brilliant in C Major, Op. 

I loved the Moscheles, who was a composer I had never heard of before. The concert room had an intimate feel to it and at some point the cellist even spoke a few words to dedicate one piece to a friend who had recently passed away. Because it was raining, I didn't get to walk around Hilda's garden during the interval, but still, it was pretty cool. 

 

The beautiful hall of Jesus college - where I have many of my daily meals - with the tables set for the benefactor's dinner last Tuesday. It's nice to see the sun shining on the tables despite the time. Days are getting longer here and I quite enjoy having sunlight past 20:00 hours.

 

The beginning of the week was almost ordinary. On Sunday, we had our first evensong of term, which was somewhat difficult, because I didn't really practice during the break. Then Monday started slowly, with breakfast at Taylor's - but all by myself, followed by a day of bioinformatics work, rewarded with an evening of Spock themed episodes at John's, with the Star Trek society. Monday also marked the arrival of my new bullet journal - the third one I start at Oxford, and hopefully (hopefully!) the one that will work. 

On Tuesday, we had the benefactors' service and dinner at College, a big event for the choir. We had a short rehearsal at 17:00hrs, followed by a packed service before what has probably been the best dinner I ever had at hall. The menu was:

 

Table set up for the dinner with a menu featuring our founder, Queen Elizabeth I, as in the large portrait above the high table

Roasted Gochujang Cauliflower, Watercress & Pomegranate Salad with Fried Onions, Mint & Cumin Creme Fraiche

Wine: Chablis Domaine Alain Geoffroy 2019

Supreme Guinea Fowl, Dauphinoise Potato, Ratatouille Vegetables, Redcurrant & Rosemary Jus

Wine: Mercurey Rouge I er Cru, des Montaigu, Patrick Guillot 2015

Passion Fruit Brulee, Lemon Sable Biscuit, Compote of Berries

Wine: Chateau Fayau Cadillac Liquoreaux 2013

Coffee and Chocolate

Wine: Grahams 1994

 Because it was a special occasion, they brought out the college silver mugs, collected over the years, meant to be used for drinking the college Swig. Places were assigned, which is unusual for the choir table, but the maestro or the organ scholars must have had a say in the placement because we were more or less grouped according to our voice parts, which made singing grace easier, and the mug in front of me dated from 1654. 

My Swig jug. 1654.

 

Thursday was an interesting day. After work, at the end of the afternoon, I went to the Martin Wood Lecture Theatre at the Maths building to watch a lecture on "the story of anyons", by professor Steven H. Simon.  I had such a good time watching this lecture. Simon turned out to be a "chalk and talk" man, and the lecture theatre was extremely appropriate for that, equipped with 3 rows of blackboards stretching all the way to the ceiling , at least 5 metres high. It had been such a long time since I watched a talk like that - a long time since I watched a physics lecture actually - and this is just the kind of thing I hope to do more of now that I am at Oxford. The downside is that the lecture went late and I missed my choir rehearsal that day, but it's okay... I don't plan on making missing rehearsal a habit. After the talk my mind was full of complicated thoughts, but I had someone to talk them over with and I enjoyed the walk back from the science area, the poppeye's meal that followed, the conversation, the company, and most of all the closeness that followed. 

 

The rolling blackboards at the Martin Wood lecture hall, before the Physics talk

Unfortunately, my week didn't end in as positive a note as the note in which it started. Workwise , it turns out I made a bad mistake in my paper draft, but I think I should be able to correct it in the next two weeks. In addition to that, I parted ways with someone that had been an important part of my life since the beginning of Hilary term. I hesitate before writing about that in such a public place but nobody reads this blog, and the fact is, I am out of sorts... I am not quite sure how to deal with this situation. I wish I had someone to talk to about it, but the person I would usually discuss this sort of thing with is exactly the person who is not around anymore...  It seems unfair. We had such a good thing going. I had such hopes and ideas and expectations for trinity term. I wish with all my heart that this wasn't the end...  But all the wishing in the world can't make someone come back to you. I suppose it's like Captain Picard said once: "wishing for a thing does not make it so". 

Cows at Christ Church Meadow. I was there for a walk this Friday. I was really starting to enjoy these walks through Oxford's green spaces... It's a pity I dind't get to explore the beyond-the-bridge area of University Parks...

Journal | My first Video Essay: The Trouble with Ellie...

 

 

 

I published my first video essay today... 

 

It's something I have been considering for a while. I actually recorded a larger essay a while ago - about the movie Freaks and why I think it's so controversial - but it didn't look so great after I finished editing and I ended up never publishing it online. Now I wrote a second one. This time it's about The Last of Us. Specifically about something I notice the series is doing to Ellie (the way in which they changed Ellie from what she was like in the original game) and why I think that is. 

 

I guess the main reason I am doing this is because I want to put my opinions out there, in the world. In a way this is what I am doing with my writing - and the last of us has a lot to do with that as well. But this is fun. More immediate. Connected to the zeitgeist, which is fun for someone who's so out of pace with everyone else all the time. 

Anyway, the video is out. The channel is called "abandoned amusement park" - the legacy name of this blog - and who knows... Maybe I'll give the Freaks video another shot one of these days...

Science Officer's Personal Log | Hillary Term, Week 3 (29/Jan-04/Feb, 2023)

This week I walked by Harris Manchester - a college that is usually out of my way. They're the only college at Oxford that specializes in mature student, and the words inscribed in these walls seem all too appropriate: "it's later than you think. But it's never too late."

 Term time at Oxford can be pretty intense. I didn't really understand this before I came. I thought that, since graduates are expected to be working in our projects year-round, terms wouldn't make much of a difference, but they do. A lot happens during term. Lectures, seminars, Bodleian iskills sessions, not to mention all the fun extracurricular stuff. Every week I think "wow, this week has been busy", then the next one comes and it's even busier than the one before. It's intense, but it's nice. 

The week started, as it usually does with writing in the morning and singing in the afternoon. Actually, this week we were working on a pretty anthem, "Presentation of Christ in the Temple", a challenging piece for me because of all the split sessions where the second sopranos sing something other than the melody. I was determined to do better than last week, which is why I went to the MCR early on Sunday morning, to practice my singing with the help of the piano there. It was a nice way to start my week. Later in the week, on Tuesday I got lucky that my practical session finished early and a spot opened up for a singing lesson at the college's music room. This lesson went way better than the one I had had previously, and it really felt like my luck had turned. 

Holocaust survivor talk at the sheldonian.

Although I had a great deal to do with regards to my project, I managed to squeeze in a couple of extra things here and there. One of these was a talk at the Sheldonian on Tuesday evening, given by a holocaust survivor, for holocaust memorial week. I have mixed feelings about the experience. In a way, it was interesting, but not fascinating. I had questions, but I don't think my questions could have been answered by the person speaking. What thoughts I head I think I'll keep with me at this time, but it sparked ideas that may eventually end up in a book. A book about monsters...

The other event that sprung out of nowhere was a meeting of writers at gulp fiction, a cafe/bookshop at Oxford's covered market. I didn't quite know what to expect, but the people organizing the event were very welcoming, and one of the editors read the first chapter of my book. I was encouraged. It's exactly the sort of thing I hoped to be a part of when I first moved here, and I hope there's more meetings like this sometime soon. 

Writers' meeting place

 On Friday, after my meeting with my supervisors, when I closed the door on another extremely busy week, I took a bus to Wormsley with the bibliophiles society, to visit the library of Sir Paul Getty. What a place. The collection was outstanding and several of their most precious manuscripts were on display for our benefit. The library was a spectacle on itself. Tall, full of wooden shelves heavy with beautifully bound books, complete with busts of six great poets (including Fernando Pessoa, which was a surprise, and Rilke, with whom I have fallen in love since reading his letters to a young poet) and craniums of giant antlered mammals, extinct since the ice age. We were there for a couple of hours, enough time to give a good look around, but as much as I enjoyed the ride, I have to say, by the end of it, I was beginning to grow a bit tired. A library is not, after all, a museum. As much as I appreciate a chance to visit and look at the manuscripts, I would have much rather been able to choose a book from those shelves, find a good spot in a corner and spent some time reading, and being inspired by my surroundings. 

The week ended on a lazy saturday that had me working on my first video essay, a video that I will probably publish tomorrow, after my brother has a chance to take a look at it.

The library at Wormsley

Science Officer's Personal Log | Hilary Term, Week 2 (22/Jan-28/Jan, 2023)

 

My perfect writing spot. An individual desk, facing a window, with a heater and a nice little blanket. The only downside were some inconsiderate tourists who insisted on standing right next to my desk to chat about the building in hushed tones. Despite the interruptions however, I finished chapter 9, book-ending the Basque section. Success.

This week I spent a lot of time at the Oxford Union. It was my favourite study spot by far and on Saturday, I found the perfect desk for writing. There, I finished chapter 9 of my book. And on thursday, I got to give my first floor speech at the chamber.

The only reason I wanted to speak was to share a floor with Ken Follett, who happens to be one of my favourite writers. I hoped to meet him at the drinks reception that followed, but it was not meant to be. He left early! Still, speaking at the Union was an interesting experience, and it actually made me want to be more involved. I certainly hope this will not be the last time I have spoken at the chamber. 

The chamber, before the debate

On Wednesday I had a guest for Burns night's formal at Jesus, when a bagpipes player marched into the hall with her instrument, and afterwards read a special blessing and carved the haggis. I had never had haggis before - and when I saw how hard it was to carve I was not inspired - but it turned out to be a delicious dish (at least the way Jesus' chef prepares it). My friend and I had a nice evening, and I even tried the shot of whiskey they poured us at dinner. It was exceedingly strong!

Burns night formal

This week also saw my return to Jesus' boathouse, for an erg session (and I hope for some water sessions in the near future!) I had to be at the boathouse at 06:30, and the walk there was challenging - not because it was long or difficult, but because the only way is through Christ Church Meadow, and there are no lights. Fortunately a team form Oriel was heading to the boathouses and I tagged along with them. There is no way I was crossing that Meadow by myself in the dark. Once there, training was nice. It felt good to do something physical again, and I hope I get to repeat the dose soon. 

The River, after the training session

All in all, it was a pretty good week. I went to see my first David Cronenberg movie (Crimes of the Future) with the Horror Society at Keeble's theatre and on Thursday we started practicing the Ubi Caritas, a beautiful melody I expect we'll sing on Sunday of Week 4. Fingers crossed that next week will be even better...

Science Officer's Personal Log | Hilary Term, week 1 (15/Jan-21/Jan, 2023)

 

Second quad in my college on a crispy Sunday Afternoon :)

The first week of term was absolutely chaotic. I think most of that was due to my having to take a specific course for my degree and, like most things in Oxford, as I have now learned, the course was pretty intense. It took time away from my main project, which was a hassle. I did work from the Bodleian and from the Oxford Union Library this week, but because I had so many tutorials - which required me to interact through Mycrosoft teams - the best place from which to work was my room. It's a fine working station, but I prefer the libraries and it was particularly disheartening being in these so much for this past week. The course is not finished yet, but most of what I have to do now are readings and watching a few videos... Things I can do at my own pace, from a more inspiring setting.

The week started, as it usually does, with a packed Sunday, the first Sunday of term and therefore, the first Evensong of term! Well... Actually, in the morning I had my writing group. It's cool that the group is still going, though we are a small group and usually there's only two to three people at a time. We worked at the upper reading room of the Bodleian this time, and I think I did some progress, solving the problem I'd been having with Chapter 6 of my project. I definitely wrote more than I would have if I was alone in my room, I think, and that's the whole reason why I started the group to begin with 

I didn't get to write about my Saturday, but my week actually ended up with a walking tour of all of Oxford's colleges and private halls. A 14Km walk. It was far too cold, but I can finally say I've been to all the colleges, including St. Stephen's in the photo, one of the ones that's the farthest away from the centre.

After the group there was Evensong. I was a little worried about the hymn for this service because it was a fast-paced song and we barely had a chance to go over it during last rehearsal. That said, it is a lovely little song. It's called "Tomorrow shall be my dancing day". It is a Carol, which I probably wouldn't have realized if the maestro hadn't told us - which I guess means I must work on my knowledge of Anglican choir traditions and choral music in general. As it turns out, the church year is still in a Christmas mood, so we'll be doing carols for a while, which is perfectly fine with me. This song is from the XIXth century, from what I've been able to find online, but it reminded me of Gaudete, which we did last term, and was a much older tune. It also has drums, which always makes things fun. Back home, when I was briefly enrolled in a music school, I had a percussion class on Brazilian rhythms that used to be a favourite of mine. Anyway... I listened to a recording on spotify on repeat for a couple of days in preparation for Sunday, and I think it went alright. Dinner was lovely. 

Most of the week went without much ado. By Thursday I managed to take care of most of the things in my growing to do list - which mostly involved social responsibilities like messaging specific people about specific events, and is just the type of thing on which I tend to procrastinate. I also managed to stop by the Oxford Union to get my membership card - which was great - and to borrow a few SF books from the poetry room. Inspiration and research materials for my novel. Then I returned a couple of books to Jesus library - a History of Jesus College and The Right to Sex. There is always a small feeling of success when I return a library book I actually had a chance to read. 

 

Turl Street

Before choir, I went for dinner at hall... Eating at hall is always an experience... I have to say, I have had a little trouble connecting to others in my college, which is something I always knew might happen, of course, but I hoped it wouldn't. I think it has to do with how most of them live together, at Cheng Quad, while I'm on external accommodation. Sitting around the others can be... challenging. There are far too many inside jokes, too many references to things I wasn't around to see... And they seem to suffice to each other. Uninterested I would say, in anybody else. Everybody is friendly, of course, but it's a shallow sort of friendliness, and that means that most of the time, I have a better time sitting by myself, and appreciating the coziness of our 16th century hall. Be that as it may, this Thursday at dinner I happened to find a place near a boy who's also at choir, and the conversation was nice. I thought so at least. 

 Choir practice was fine... I enjoyed it, I always do, but I felt a bit off my game, making more mistakes than I usually do. I am trying not to be too disheartened by it though, and it's awesome that the maestro sends us recordings of the pieces and sheet music via email, so I have material with which to practice. I know I won't become a brilliant singer overnight, but practice seems like the way to get a little better. 

 After choir, I attended my first debate at the Oxford Union chamber. Last term I couldn't go because debates clashed with choir, but now they have been moved to a later time and I have to say, it was more intellectually stimulating than I could have anticipated. I am often guilty of not giving my peers - or anyone in my generation really - enough credit, but it was incredible being in a room with so many people eager to express their ideas and express them well. The motion was "This House Believes the Future is Post Gender", which is something I am interested in knowing more about, but I wasn't familiar with any of the speakers so I really didn't know what to expect. Overall it was brilliant. I did think the opposition had more compelling arguments - mostly because, on the side of the proposition people talked about their personal experiences, and about a "vision" of the theoretical wonders of a post-gender society, without actually offering arguments that support the idea that society would be better off. I walked out through the "noes" side of the door. That's how it works at the chamber. After the debate, you walk through the "ayes" side if you agree with the proposition (hopefully if the proposition did a good job of defending that side) and the "noes" side if you agree with the opposition instead. 

Something I was not expecting, is that before the last speaker on either side can say anything, there is a chance for members of the Union to participate in the debate and speak for a few minutes. All you have to do is raise your membership card and get noticed by the president to have a chance. Isn't that amazing? Being a member of the Union means more than just a chance to watch the talks. One can participate. I didn't have much to say this time, but perhaps in the future... The whole thing was very stimulating. I will definitely come back for more. 

The way we vote at the union is with our feet. You exit the chamber through the left if you are against the proposition and through the right if you are in favour of it. I have come to learn there is usually a pretty big line.

 Friday was the day for my usual meeting with my supervisors, which went okay. Afterwards I had lunch at Jesus (fish and chips as usual) and decided to work at the English Faculty Library, for a bit of variety. As well as I believe our meetings have been going so far, I always feel a bit spent afterwards, and a variation in my surroundings helps. There was also a couple of items I'd been meaning to borrow from that specific library, so things worked out nicely. It was my first time there and that means crossing another libraries from the list of local libraries I made use of so far :)

At the end of the day, I went to the TV room in my accommodation for a well deserved movie. After reading The Secret History I found myself in the mood for some dark academia and the movie I chose was "Kill Your Darlings". I had never seen it before. It was a good experience, and it opened my eyes to a world of literature that up until then had remained closed to me. My knowledge of the beat generation was restricted to Kerouac, and the only book I knew was "On The Road". Turns out there is a lot more to discover. All in all, not a bad way to end a week...

Movie night...

Science Officer's Personal Log | Hilary term, week 0 (Sunday 8/Jan - Saturday 14/Jan)

Week zero is a thing at Oxford. Not just at Michaelmas, but every term. Undergraduates have collections, which are exams meant to test knowledge from the previous term and from work done during the break, which of course means the college is starting to feel crowded again. I was so surprised when I went to Jesus Library - my beloved Sanctuary for my first Christmas season away from home - only to find out it was once again crowded and noisy. It was a little heartbreaking, I'm not going to lie. 

My study/work spot at the Taylorian

As a result, I turned to the Taylorian, one of my favourite Libraries in town. The main reading room is beautiful, with a large chandelier, a fireplace, and tall wooden shelves, heavy with books from floor to ceiling. It has a gallery, and that's my favourite spot, at one of the tables overlooking the columns of the Ashmolean Museum. Now that I'm thinking, my favourite spot at Jesus' library is also at the upper gallery of the upper library. I guess I have a thing for high places. Anyway, I was working on Bioinformatics this week, trying to learn a new programming language, and I believe I did some good progress. Fitting I would say, to study languages - even computer languages - at the Taylor institution library. 

In the Spirit of finding new places to work, I sort of found a new writing spot. A quiet donnut shop behind Jesus college, much quieter than the coffee shops at High street - or even at Cornmarket street for that matter, and much nicer for writing.  I spent a couple of hours there on Monday, once I was finished with work, and did some progress in chapter 8. And, on Wednesday night I went to the Royal Blenhein with a couple of friends from Trek Soc, for a pub quiz, a nice little British tradition. We did not get the last place which was an accomplishment, considering our disastrous performance in the musical round.
 

The Royal Bleheim

 

On Thursday I had choir practice. I wasn't expecting that. I wasn't expecting any sort of formal activity before next week but actually, the term starts on Sunday and therefore, we have Evensong tomorrow! It was nice getting the maestro's email reminding us all of this Thursday's practice because he gave us an overview of things to come in the next few weeks and there is a lot of cool stuff to look forward to. I was starting to feel a little blue, thinking that with Christmas and all last term, we had already done the coolest things we were going to do all year with the choir, but as it turns out there's a lot of cool stuff happening in the next few weeks, including a service in Welsh and the Turl Street Arts Festival. As the song says, it seems the best is yet to come.
 

First book of the year...

This week I finished reading "The Secret History", by Donna Tartt. I have been curious about this book for a while which is why it is one of the few books I brought with me on the plane, and it seemed a good candidate for the first book of the year. That said, I don't quite know how to feel about it. The prose was amazing but the ending... The ending left me with a bad taste in my mouth. The thing deserves a post of its own if I ever get around to writing it, but I wanted to say that much. Anyway... The first book of the year. Finally, I might add. I have been reading this in conjunction with Orlando, by Virginia Wolf, but that one will take me a little longer to finish.
 

Something else I did this week was go out shopping. That is always exhausting. I have been on a personal quest to find a style with which I can express myself through fashion. It's difficult. I am extremely bad at shopping. But I did manage to find a couple of items which will enhance my wardrobe and that in itself is a success. Let's leave it at that for now. 

 

I was working at the Taylorian until closing time on Tuesday. This is what the place looks like, when everyone else is gone...

The best part of my week was undoubtedly watching Tarr at the Westgate mall on Friday night. I have been looking forward to this movie for such a long time and as much as I enjoyed it, I am sure I am only beginning to peel the first of many layers in this story. The movie follows Lydia Tarr, the first female conductor of a major Berlim Orchestra, as she is about to conduct Mahler's 5th symphony. The last of Mahler's 9 symphonies that she conducted with this Orchestra, making her the first to accomplish such a thing with the same Orchestra. It's a big moment. And then, of course, stuff about her past comes out and threatens to destroy her life like a castle of cards. 

Nothing like a night at the movies...

Tarr is a cancellation story. But I have to say, I didn't really analyze - or perhaps even understand - all there is to this side of the movie. No. My first response to the movie was much more personal. How could it not be, when a cellist plays such a big role in it, playing the piece that is my number one absolute favourite piece in the cello repertoire? But it was the lines of the protagonist that captured my heart. The way she speaks about having nothing to complain about in terms of being a woman in a man's world, for instance, reflects thoughts that first came to me when I went to that Histories of Women exhibition at MASP a few years ago. Thoughts I didn't have the words - or perhaps the clarity - to express, certainly not as eloquently as she did. And then there's the Julliard scene. The leaked scene that made me want to watch the movie in the first place, the ten-minute long one-take-long scene that embodies all of my disappointments with my own generation. It was beautiful.
 

The movie is fantastic. Great direction. Great Script. If I had my way, it would win best picture. But there is such a thing as a "best-picture-movie" and what that thing is was defined a few decades ago... Tarr is... something else. Something more. Still, I am rooting for it. And I will definitely watch it again... 

I haven't been here for long, but already, I've seen some great movies in this place. Bones and all, The Menu, and Tarr come to mind...